Welcome to The Twelve Ways of Christmas, where we unpack weird and overlooked holiday films. And let’s face it, the blog roll could use the attention.
With little rhyme or reason, check in from now until The Day That Must Not Be Named for a new entry.
Out of respect for its pastry killer’s origins, The Gingerdead Man is more “cutter” than “slasher.” With a slogan like “Evil never tasted so good!” it’s easy to poke fun at The Gingerdead Man because it’s written with its tongue planted firmly in its cheek. Baked goods puns abound, the dialogue is second-rate writing delivered by third-rate actors, and Gary Busey is, well, Gary Busey. Like Jack Frost, humor both lightens the mood and deflects any serious criticisms thrown at a movie about an absurd killer. This isn’t a horror film, and it’s barely a comedy, but it’s certainly more of either than a Christmas movie, and I only have myself to blame.
While holed up in a standoff with the Waco police department (yes, really), serial killer Millard Findlemeyer (Busey) has the Leigh family held hostage at gunpoint. After gritting his teeth and babbling about hearing his mother’s voice, Findlemeyer shoots Papa Leigh and son Jeremy but spares the lives of Betty (Margaret Blye) and her daughter Sarah (Robin Sydney). That’s Sarah Leigh, for those paying attention at home. Years later, Mama Leigh has become a trigger-happy alcoholic with Sarah having taken over responsibilities for the family bakery. Long since captured, Findlemeyer is executed via electric chair because this is Waco, Texas, but his spirit returns from beyond the grave and merges with a batch of special gingerbread seasoning left outside the bakery by a mysterious hooded figure. With the help of a lot of heat and a little blood from the hand of a bakery employee (Jonathan Chase), who moonlights as amateur pro-wrestler the Butcher Baker, Findlemeyer returns as the walking, talking, stabbing, shooting gingerbread man we were promised.
The Gingerdead Man is light on Christmas themes but heavy on pastries. Virtually every major character is named after a shopping mall chain or a mass-marketed snackfood and with lines like “I said you were a smart cookie” and “Shut your pie hole,” demanding a message about generosity or hope is probably asking for too much. One might settle for a thorough understanding of movie physics, given that the bite-sized Findlemeyer drags concussed victims into a giant freezer and rams the town scumbag with his own car.
Then again, asking any questions of The Gingerdead Man short of “Is there another one of these?” means you’re watching the wrong movie. This straight-to-DVD release gifts Gary Busey a whopping five minutes of screentime before he’s sent to the recording booth, and it’s safe to assume that wasn’t much fun as the actor didn’t return for Gingerdead Man 2: Passion of the Crust or Gingerdead Man 3: Saturday Night Cleaver. Star power or not, The Gingerdead Man is in on the joke, as Busey weirdly refused to be involved with the crossover smash hit Gingerdead Man vs. Evil Bong. The problem is that this joke’s just not a very funny one.
Way #1: Batman Returns
Way #2: Black Nativity