The last thing Marcus Theatres needs right now is promotional help, particularly help with their poorly-conceived ideas. I’ve raised some of the numerous thoughts their condescending “Ladies Night” promotion spews into the mind already. A Fast and the Furious retrospective however is an idea I can get behind.
The program, which began last week, plays every Wednesday thereafter through Fast & Furious 6 (Apr 1). Beyond the (occasionally violently) changing aesthetic experience that a program by series release date yields is the inevitable: someone would have to endure the eponymous indulgences of 2 Fast 2 Furious. Absent Vin Diesel, whose gruffness bequeathed Rob Cohen’s The Fast and the Furious with gravitas amid the ludicrous world of illegal street racing, 2 Fast 2 Furious promised to make up for its bald behemoth with more cars, more women and more Paul Walker.
Nothing against Walker — whose unfortunate passing in 2013 delayed the release and post-production on Furious 7 — but the actor’s finesse has come a long way since 2003. Universal Studios seems to have recognized that too, adding former friend Roman Pearce (Tyrese Gibson) and Miami street king Tej Parker (Chris ‘Ludacris’ Bridges) to the rolodex of Walker’s cop-turned-fugitive Brian O’Connor. Despite their then-limited onscreen experience, both actors are obvious strengths, with Gibson’s Pearce lending unpredictable volatility to flat dialogue and Bridges’ Tej bringing the aforementioned cars and women in tow.
They’re also too much, too soon. In his first and only contribution to the franchise, Boyz in the Hood‘s John Singleton is more interested in race banter, paint jobs and bikinis here. Racers lose their cars like Hot Wheels collectibles with little more than lip service paid to a thin plot about a two-timing Miami gangster (Cole Hauser). Even the main attractions become diluted and de-emphasized, with nitrous oxide (“NOS”) boosts turning street races into cartoon sequences. Rob Cohen’s original The Fast and the Furious has flaws aplenty, but the only stakes in its sequel involve finding the best way to tie-in a Ludacris single.
The silver lining in Marcus’ exhumation is that the film’s trio of writers (including Madison native Michael Brandt) were onto something in twisting the formula from its underground racing focus. Justin Lin would eventually take that to absurd extremes in Fast Five, where cars are mere accessories for ripping off corrupt authority figures and hauling giant-ass bank vaults down Brazilian highways. And the kernel of that idea is somewhere inside of the franchise’s worst entry. Way, way deep down.
- 2 Fast 2 Furious plays Wednesday night at 7:00p at Marcus Point and Eastgate. $5.