What’s Playing, Madison?

Frances Ha Ha Ha. What kind of a name is "Frances?"

Greta Gerwig co-writes and stars in “White People Problems”

Thursday

FIRST: The Story of the London 2012 Olympic Games (7:30p – Point, Eastgate)

It seems like only a year ago that the world united to celebrate the majesty of athleticism, the triumph of the human spirit, and the grandeur of throwing things as hard and as far as possible. The good news is that you can recap all the excitement of the 2012 Summer Olympics in FIRST, an exclusive nationwide event in select cinemas that features the stories of 12 Olympic athletes. The bad news is that if you were hoping for more of a “cinematic tone poem on Hungary’s 18 medals”  kind of thing, you’ll have to wait a little longer.

Now You See Me (Point, Eastgate, AMC Star)

If you’re clamoring for more of JEsse Esienberg’s smart-ass jerkwad he channeled in The Social Network, then Louis Letterier’s heist-thriller may have read your mind. And then done a few OK card tricks for your girlfriend, too. Let it draw you in a weirdly diverse cast that tries to satisfy as wide an audience as possible as an FBI team investigate a string of bank robberies from a team of magicians known as the “Four Horsemen.” Glossy, impossible technology. Catch Me if You Can?

After Earth (Point, Eastgate, AMC Star)

It’s 1,000 years after catastrophic events forced a human exodus from Earth which also makes it 930 years after Tom Cruise first saved the world from ending in Oblivion. When space ranger Cypher Raige (Will Smith) and his son (Will Smith’s son) crash land on planet Earth, they discover the once habitable planet has evolved to dangerous new and computer-generated threat levels. The pair must put aside their differences and heal a fractured relationship, with their only chance of survival resting in the hope that Smith’s competitive unpaid internship at the Dean Witter Reynolds stock brokerage blossoms into the full-time position he’s pursued for so long. Or maybe they’ll just need to fight off angry animals with cool futuristic spears. It’s honestly hard to tell what After Earth is about, and the only thing more vague than its “Danger is real — Fear is a choice” tagline is the fact that Sony Pictures seems determined to downplay the involvement of M Night Shyamalan. You should probably keep that on the DL.

Friday

Frances Ha (Sundance)

Greta Gerwig’s really come a long way since that unfortunate car ride in The House of the Devil. Continuing their creatively sexual/sexually creative partnership, she and co-writer/director/lovah Noah Baumbach team up once again in Frances Ha, a twee fairytale about life’s ups and downs as explored through a woman-child’s quirk and an assortment legging/skirt combinations. Frances Ha has already drawn rave reviews, culling references from French New Wave and, if its trailer is to believed, spunky upbeat John Hughes montages.

Monday

Spaceballs (9:00p – Memorial Union Terrace)

Buckle up, Terrace-goers and mutant lake people, because WUD Film is going into hyperactive next Monday. That’s right, the hilarious misadventures of Lakeside Cinema continue with Spaceballs, and if WUD’s very own Hari Jost is to be believed, it won’t projected through a low-def Cuisinart. As far as sci-fi parodies go, you can’t do much better than Mel Brooks’ 1987 classic, featuring the likes of Lone Starr, Barf, and Princess Vespa as they’re pursued across the galaxy by Dark Helmet. Get ready to shout your favorite “Schwartz” references and paltry Michael Winslow impressions at the screen and in full force. Your anticipation’s already gone to plaid, hasn’t it?

Wednesday

Jaws (1:30p, 6:45p – Sundance)

It seems pretty unfair that Sundance is adding Steven Spielberg’s blockbuster Jaws to their “Classics” series when the real gems like Jaws: The Revenge are left to rot on the wayside. The 1987 sequel follows Roy Scheider’s widow (Lorraine Gary) as she becomes convinced the franchise’s famed shark is holding a grudge against her family. Considering no Great White has lived beyond a single movie, this technically makes no sense. In an artistic way however, it makes all the sense. Along with a fantastic turn from Michael Caine as airplane pilot “Hoagie Newcombe,” Jaws: The Revenge does away with the original film’s questionable decision to hide the shark and rely on audience’s fears, instead showing the beast in well-lit animatronic glory. No idea who coined the phrase “less is more” but they were probably an idiot.